Blogging Is For Jerks
and only jerks read blogs
Like a symbol of math Posted by ed in Science on Wednesday, September 7th, 2005.
I consider myself a champion of evolution. Ever since I was a wee lad - which technically includes most of high school - I’ve been an avid learner of evolutionary theory. In college, I finally found my academic paradise in the geology department studying paleontology. How beautiful it is to look at a series of fossil bones and bone fragments covering hundreds of millions of years and seeing the changes over time.
Not too long ago I had a conversation with a family member. He related how he had seen a “world-renowned” scientist on TV, and he had said that there was absolutely no evidence for evolution. I was shocked. I knew the scientist he was referring to [though the name escapes me at the moment]. This “world-renowned” scientist who apparently has all the answers is a molecular biologist. Why is this relevant?
First off, how many people believe the Theory of Gravity? That’s right. It’s a THEORY that keeps you from rocketing off the planet. I would venture to guess that everyone who isn’t a Lawsonomist believes that gravity exists. Would you believe that there is almost no evidence for gravity? That’s right. We have no idea how gravity works. We don’t know why it works. But everyone accepts it as truth.
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Hold closed the jaw Posted by ed in Miscellaneous on Friday, September 2nd, 2005.
We took Tes down to the Kenosha Sand Dunes because we had never been there and wanted to see if they were zombie-defensible [they’re not]. Up ahead of us is a couple with two dogs, a Samoyed and an Akita. We’re just strolling along, chillin. The other two dogs spot us and come running over - they weren’t on leashes. Still, no cause for worry. Tes gets all waggy-tail and “hello new friends!” Suddenly, the Akita snarls and pounces on her. For visualness, the Akita’s head is about level with my waist, and she probably weighed 60+ pounds. Tes is knee high and about 28 pounds soaking wet and carrying a Frisbee. The Akita was well over twice Teslin’s size in any dimension. Tes is trying to get behind me [still on the leash] and the Akita is trying to get to her. Joy is frozen and yelling “no!” at the other dogs while their owners seem to be lollygagging their stupid asses toward us.
My left hand is holding the leash handle, my right hand is fluttering around the snapping jaws of this goddamn Japanese pit fighter, and I’m trying to keep my right leg between Tes and the Samoyed. The Akita lunges forward right on top of Tes. More snarling and barking - and suddenly the leash goes limp. One thought runs through my mind.
“How much damage am I prepared to do to this dog?”
Luckily, Tes had managed to slip her collar and was trying to run away. The Akita jumps in front of me to give chase. At this point, Joy is still yelling and the owners are still ten feet away. I see what I have to do. I reach down and clamp on with a ninja death grip on either side of this dog’s neck and lift it straight up. Tes is hauling ass down the trail and the Samoyed is bounding along after. Joy takes off to catch one or both of them. Finally the owner guy gets to where I am and has the nerve to say “IT’S OKAY SHE’S USUALLY A NICE DOG.” I shove the Akita at him and tear off after the other two.
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